Technology

Douglas Coupland was on APM's Marketplace discussing his new novel Generation A, a book that takes place in a future without bees.

In the interview, Coupland talks about the early theory of hive collapse being linked to possible cell phone use. Luckily (or so we think) that hasn't turned out to be the case. I say luckily because I agree with him; if the choice came down to saving bees or using rollover minutes I think, given some time, governments would collaborate to design a nice thoughtful memorial to the species.

Sorry honeybee, #speciesfail.

Not that I endorse this line of thinking but let's be realistic people. How many of y'all would give up your handheld wireless internet access to save a species that most folks consider a nuisance?

Now I'm not the type of person that keeps the phone attached to my ear and most of the time I don't even answer it when it rings unless I'm expecting a call (secret's out!) so it wouldn't be a problem for me to do that, but don't think I'm approaching this from a holier than thou position.

I have a commercial grade espresso machine installed in my house. One of the drawbacks (as if there could be drawbacks to having espresso or boiling water whenever you want it, lol) is the unit has a drain that over time gets clogged with coffee residue, the super fine granules that manage to sneak through the portafilter or come out of the brew valve at the end of the shot.

Basically, it requires regular maintenance to keep rancid water from overflowing onto my (wife's) counter top.

There are a couple of ways to do this. One involves disassembling the line and running a wire hanger snake to push the (now) living coffee clog out.

The other way involves filling the little drain box with drain cleaner and waiting.... waiting.... waiting.... until the cleaner eats through the clog. Then I pour a little more in, wait again, flush with hot water, voila.

If you have to guess which method I prefer I'll give you a hint: I don't like taking things apart unless there is absolutely no choice e.g. Asteroid headed toward the Greater Seattle Area = No choice.

Paola wanted to try an enzymatic drain cleaner so we did and it was a disaster. We picked a powdered kind that needed to be mixed in a gigantic volume in order to be effective. This posed a huge problem because the physical limits of the drain would never allow for anything close to that volume to occupy it. This meant me spending three days nursing the cleaner into the drain box and waiting.... waiting.... waiting... for nothing and cleaning off the counter top to start over.

Finally at the end of the third day, I disassembled the drain to find that the coffee clog was gone but now there was a pasty globule of cleaner that I had to clean out to make the drain operable.

At this point, I just wanted a homemade double tall latte so I did the only thing that made sense: Went to QFC and bought the old industrial stuff. I explained all this to Paola, when she woke up and she concurred. As much as I want to SAVE THE PLANET I can't tolerate having drains back up into my home.

For me, indoor plumbing is the thing I wouldn't give up and by that I mean all the peripherals that are assumed to come with it, like a free flowing drain, BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.

If it would have taken a mix of napalm and DDT to get that thing open again I don't think I would've hesitated, so sorry other species.

What do other species care anyway? The only thing that stops most of them from eating us is the part where we can't fit into their mouths.

So what is the one technology you couldn't give up, no matter the circumstance?