It's "Finished"

She said to me as she walked out the door. Thinking about it now, I'd thank her if I could find her but I know: There is no finding her. Not where she went.

A funny thing happened to me on the way to writing my novel. At approximately 45,000 words I reached the pivotal scene. My original plan was to use that scene as a launching point to create a maelstrom from which I'd hammer down the rest of the subplots and tie a bow around the fucker.

Well, it didn't go like that.

As I wrote more and more of this scene and believe me I labored, we're talking days of staring at the monitor and coughing up a single sentence then deleting that sentence or one before it on the next day and writing something else.

As I wrote more and more I had hard time removing this excellent question from my brane.

As I wrote more and more of that scene, I realized that I was essentially writing the end of my novel.

It was a somber moment, there was no shimmying in the chair or anything like that, instead just an overwhelming numbness, a realization that I truly had nothing more to say on the subject. Between my beginning, middle and end I have enough to revise this thing into something truly workable.

I didn't hit the word count I wanted but the thing about journeys is that the destination is just another a mile marker. For me the journey isn't so much about writing "a novel" but becoming a full time novelist. I want to write many novels. Every piece that I write leads me closer to that goal and so I do feel a sense of accomplishment. Also, I learned a lot about how I work so I'll be better equipped to work with myself in the future.

Besides, I've read books (you may have noticed this) and am highly critical of writers that jam a story together and cobble on some wacked out ending that could've come 50 pages sooner. I wouldn't hold myself to a separate standard when I want my work to be on the same shelves as these guys/gals.

So it's done. I'm going to sit on it for a month before I print it and get to the editing/revision. 45,000 words @ 250/pg works out to about 180 pages. Paola pointed out that The Stranger is only 120 words. I can't decide if that makes me feel better or worse.

I've already started the next one. The inspiration came to me last year, I saw a bus parked on the side of State Route 99 during rush hour, hazards flashing. I can't remember if I saw or imagined a woman getting off that bus and into a grey Nissan truck behind it but that's what happens in my mind.

And that's where we go next.